Often we loose out on life because our methods of communication and expression does not gel with the other. The first impression is the best impression. People judge others from their subtle behavior. There are some small alertness that we need to work on while dealing with other members of the family or the team. Swami Sukhabodhananda quotes from Sant Kabir das where we should speak in such a language that others feel happy and you feel happy too. There has to be disposition of openness and a compassion to the other at the first place. A state of mind that looks at the goodness in the other is the first step. Look at others as friends first. A Sanskrit shloka supports this thought as it says that the eye of friendliness brings in harmony. This should not cause an anxiety of insecurity. What if the other is keen on Manipulating you? What if his intentions are to cheat? Deeply trust your own powers of perception and judgment that can catch the rat. This is not to say that one should drop his guard and become adoormat. In the middle of such alertness, let there be a display of your nature of friendliness. What are the etiquettes that one should maintain?
Showering praise : Look for a compliment that you could give to the other. Praises raise the receptivity of the other person. It raises the energy level and provides the right atmosphere to build a rapport. Let your praises be sincere. Let it be an acknowledgement of the services done by the other. This will enable the other to perform better.
Improving the vocabulary of kind statements: So often we are impoverished in providing kind statements. We don’t nourish words of compliment within us. We are so engaged with ourselves that we don’t work on improving our vocabulary on this matter. The dearth for these words hamper our relationship. The small compliments at the right time enthuses the person to perform with more passion.
Generous in thanking the person: Everyone is interdependent and has been the recipient of a lot services to improve his standard of life. The services may be small but the thankfulness makes it very special. Someone who achieves his target, keeps his work place neat and clean, does all the tasks on time are all opportunities to pay compliments. Be thankful for the one who opens your door, one who cooks your meal, one who issues you a ticket, one who drives you. There may be a number of services that one receives everyday but has taken it for granted. If only we can be aware and acknowledge, the quality of life will improve tremendously.
Methods of thanking: The thanking should be sincere. Avoid using this method to express sarcasm. Mean the thanking and give meaning to your statements. Let your expression be one of sincerity. Look into the eyes of the person as you express your gratitude. Don’t mumble your words. Be proud and full throated as you say it. Let it not sound as a ompromise. Preferably praise the act of service and the attribute rather than the person. It reaches.
Criticism : Always learn the art of criticism. Imperfections and faults catch our eye automatically. Pause and reframe your criticism so that the transformation is achieved. The expression of fault is more to set the matter right rather than to show off that you know more. Swamiji says that criticism should be shrouded in like a sandwich. The subject of what you wish to say is placed in the midst of two praises. The real art of criticism is not to put others down but to raise them up. It is not to hurt feelings, but to help people do a better job. Similarly, your objective is to achieve a good result and not to deflate his ego. Keep the atmosphere friendly even if the words of criticism is to be conveyed. Always seek the solution rather than harp on the fault. Be solution oriented rather than problem display. Always keep the criticism only once, twice will be unnecessary and thrice will be nagging. The purpose is not to win an ego fight.